grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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