So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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