I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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