he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
