Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Houston, we have a squirter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
