I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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