I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
BRING THE BAGELS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize