Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
