Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
