I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
