there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
