Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Randomize