She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
