I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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