whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
