You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The uberlube is also flammable
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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