don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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