No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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