Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
