in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
