she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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