So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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