Got a toothbrush?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
