Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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