i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
