i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
