What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
