My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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