You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So vagazzling was a success
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
