Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
40s are totally the cure
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize