no, he came in my armpit
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
