I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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