Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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