Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
