Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
