Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
