Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
