We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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