which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
