I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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