i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
