If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
