I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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