saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
