Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
