I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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