I'm going to jail i love you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
