if only i could text you this smell
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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