There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
