i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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