I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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