Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You're like the curious george of whores
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
