out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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