Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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