My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
