just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are we still banned from the library?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
