I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
