how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
