The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
