just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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