So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Randomize
